Monthly Archives: May 2017

Ten Years and Counting . . . Special Thanks to the Little Lady from Detroit

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I’ve been trying to find the right words, but I’m at a loss. There are no words to really describe how we feel today. I’ll keep this post short and sweet.

Ten years ago we put our son’s life in the hands of doctors and donors and maybe even a higher power (I know, I know – I have a terrible relationship with God, but I’m working on it). Ten years ago we didn’t know of any boys who were ten years post transplant for ALD. We didn’t know if there was a chance that Jack would reach this milestone.

Jack has reached this day – HIS TENTH TRANSPLANT BIRTHDAY – and I fully expect he will exceed every dream we’ve ever had for him. He’s just that kind of kid. He’s a silent boy who speaks.

We had a party this weekend to celebrate our boy. We filled our yard with greasy food and many of Jacko’s favorite people. Jack spent the day hugging, and dancing and enjoying every second.

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Please take a moment today and think about our boy. Think about how amazing life can be.

Happy Birthday JackO!!!

Love, Jess

In honor of Jack’s TRANSPLANT BIRTHDAY we asked people to make donations to Boxes of Fun and Horizon High School. Over $2800 was raised for his school and have a HUGE pile of toys for the Boxes of Fun. Our duct tape is amazing!

 

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FYI – “The Little Lady from Detroit” was Jack’s donor;)

Paying it Forward

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Yesterday Boxes of Fun received the 2017 Friend of Child Life Award from NewYork-Presbyterian Morgan Sanley Children’s Hospital (NYPMSCH).

Ten years ago – almost to the day – our family arrived at NYPMSCH. Jack needed a stem cell transplant for a disease we had just learned existed one month earlier. We would end up living at the hospital for months and Jack would be in isolation most of that time. It was hell. One light in our room that always put a smile on our boy’s face, was a box that lived at the foot of Jack’s bed — The Box of Fun. It was the brainchild of my dear friend Kim. It was filled it with gifts and notes from everyone in our lives. Not just fun stuff, but a true reminder that we were loved.

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Jack’s Box 2007

What many didn’t know then was that Kim had a stem cell transplant ten years earlier AND her colleagues at work had made her a box filled with goodies. Kim was paying in forward!

When Jack’s health stabilized and we adapted to our new life, our family wanted to continue the trend and pay it forward. We started making Boxes of Fun for each of the kids on the transplant floor at NYPMSCH. That was eight years ago.

Last year, Anna took over. She and her dear friend, Jane, created a club at Columbia High School and started raising money to fill the boxes. Let’s just say that they put my efforts to shame. They’ve raised unbelievable amounts of money and awareness AND have even expanded their program to Hackensack Hospital. I am blown away by these kids. Boundless energy in their goal to help others — Anyone who’s worried about today’s youth, needs to hang out with Anna and her pals for an afternoon.

Yesterday’s ceremony was sweet, and the award itself needs to be displayed somewhere special – it’s HUGE, but the best part of the day was hearing stories from the Child Life team of people’s reactions through the years – not just the children who have received the Boxes, but the nurses and doctors who have come to expect that their patients will have a pile of goodies to distract them during their stay.

When we got the news that we’d been nominated for the award we were honored, but the truth is that we make the Boxes as much for us as for the recipients. It’s so important to recognize and appreciate when beautiful things are sent your way AND to remember to pay it forward.

Seven days until we hit Jack’s 10th Transplant Birthday. In honor of his birthday, I encourage all of you to take a moment and pay it forward. Make someone a Box of Fun, donate your time to a soup kitchen or food pantry, visit a neighbor who is going through a hard time OR make a donation to Jack’s school —  CLICK HERE. Just do something. Trust me – it makes the world a little better.

Love, Jess

GOOD > BAD

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Enough with the hard stuff – let’s celebrate!

A crazy few weeks around here and most of it has been WONDERFUL.

Last week, Jack and I had the honor of speaking at an event for CPNJ (the parent organization of Horizon High School). 150 employees were celebrating 5, 10, 15, and 20 years of service to CPNJ. We were asked to speak representing CPNJ families and sharing a bit about how their team has helped us. My nerves still cause me to jitter a bit when I speak publicly, but overall I think I’m doing a better job. And, looking out at a room full of so many people who have helped our boy, I felt extremely grateful. I did the majority of the speaking, but when Jack joined me on the stage, he really did steal the show. His smile is electric.

 

Then yesterday, we shared our story in a whole different way. Through Jack’s school, we were approached by a Taiwanese television station that is making a documentary about children with special needs and adaptive equipment. A large crew of people and cameras arrived bright an early to catch our morning routine (I took care of some early morning messiness before they arrived – THAT would have been a little TOO real). The crew followed JackO around throughout his entire day, and by the time they arrived back from school, they all seemed like old friends. It’s amazing the connections our silent boy is able to make. The documentary is following children with disabilities from four different countries, discussing different approaches cultures have towards the special needs community. It’s scheduled to air in Taiwan in the Fall. They promised to send us a copy. I can’t wait to see our boy on the screen (and to see if my need of highlights is distracting;-).

 

It’s not just our boy who has been getting some attention. Anna received a wonderful invitation last week. On Monday, Boxes of Fun is being recognized as a recipient of the Friends of Child Life Award at New York Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. We’ve been making Boxes of Fun for the children on the Bone Marrow Transplant floor at the hospital for eight years. Last year, Anna asked to take over and started a club at her school with her dear friend, Jane, to help raise money and fill the boxes. No surprise, they dove right in and have not only raised enough money to extend the program to Hackensack Hospital, but they have raised awareness for both Boxes of Fun and paying it forward. Kids these days . . .

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Our lives are complicated. Big things like fighting with Social Security and little things like Jack developing a habit of soiling his bed overnight. Some days I feel like we are dealing with more than our share of sh*t, but when I step away and look at the big picture, I am reminded that the good still outweighs the bad by a long shot.

I am beyond proud of both of our children. Each with such different lives. Each extraordinary.

 

Love, Jess

 

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Dear Social Security Administration,

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Dear Social Security Administration,

Stop wasting our fu*king time! I’m begging you. I’m coming close to a breakdown and my family needs me. I appreciate that there are people who wish to take advantage of the “system”, but I assure you — we are not one of them. AND, I realize that there are people who might not clearly qualify to receive Social Security benefits. Unfortunately, Jack more than qualifies.

1.) Are you working? No
2.) Is your condition “severe”? Yes. I find this almost insulting to answer.
3.) Is your condition found in the list of disabling conditions? Jack has five of these conditions.
4.) Can you do the work you did previously? Never worked.
5.) Can you do any other type of work? Jack cannot bag groceries, shred paper or walk down the street without someone holding his hand. I’ve often thought he would make a great professional hugger, but I’m not sure that it would pay the bills.

Several months after filing for Social Security benefits, Jack qualified and you sent us a shinny “Award Letter” (that’s really what it’s called – nuts) with his first check. The next week, you sent a letter that it was time to review his case to see if he was still disabled under the disability rules for adults.

I know that there is a need to reevaluate a person’s eligibility every so often, but 10 days after receiving the Award Letter seems ridiculous. I assumed it was a mistake, but after waiting on hold with your offices for over 90 minutes, I was told that I did need to return to your offices to go over Jack’s updated information (updated?). Then, you insisted that I bring my son to attend the meeting where I needed to once again describe his limitations in detail – THAT is cruel. Only made more cruel because we were forced to sit in a waiting room for 5 hours before having that uncomfortable conversation.

At the end of the review, the woman behind the glass (now I understand the need for the glass) said that we would hear within a few weeks if Jack still qualifies for his benefits. In her defense, she did preface this by handing me a tissue and saying, “I am sorry that I need to say this . . . ”

I’m so proud of where our family is ten years after ALD crashed into our lives. We are strong and thriving, but it’s days like this that make me want to crawl into a hole and scream.

Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled. Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled. Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled. Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled. Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled. Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled.

Is that better? Should I say it just one more time?

Jack is profoundly disabled. He is profoundly disable AND will always be profoundly disabled.

No Love Here, Jess

P.S. I promise to write again tomorrow and share a bunch of good news and funny stories. We do have a lot to celebrate right now and that should be my focus.

And the Winner is . . .

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Smack in the middle of remembering the hell we went through ten years ago, we got a beautiful reminder of where we are now.

THIS is where we are now — We are winning the GOLD!!!!!

You are our #1 son!
Aunt Kim is a big fan!
Good friends – fierce competition.
Our HHS trainers.
Jack and his two moms!

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This amazing day was thanks to the Special Olympics and the greatest school on the planet – CPNJ Horizon High School. Their love, support, training and encouragement helped Jack hop his way to the finish-line!!

If this video made you smile (or cry happy tears), please consider making a donation to Jack’s school.

https://cpnj.donorpages.com/WWCHorizonHighSchool2017/JesseTorrey/?t=636288010860612211

Love, Jess (proud mama)

P.S. It’s not really about winning, it’s about being able to play the game. Thanks to the Special Olympics and Horizon High School – Jack was able to play the game!

P.P.S. It is kinda fun to win sometimes;)