Monthly Archives: September 2019

OURMatch.com

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I’ve been hanging out with an old friend who is returning to the dating scene. It’s a whole different world since Dan and I went off the market. Now there are pictures and profiles and lots of time on the computer. You need to really think about how you present yourself and what you share. All while being super cautious when pouring through prospective daters profiles – things aren’t always exactly as they appear. I’ve had friends share hysterical stories about first dates that quickly revealed ridiculous exaggerations about everything from jobs to height to age to mental stability.  Times are certainly different in the world of dating, but the basics still remain — before you start looking for a partner, you should know what you are looking for AND there always needs to be some chemistry;)

We are knee deep in our “find the perfect adult program for Jack” project. As Jack and I were on our way to our latest tour, I was talking to him about what I’d read online about the program and how bright and clean the facility looked in the photos, “But who knows JackO. We won’t really know until we get there”. As I was chatting with my boy, it occurred to me that the process is similar to modern dating – we’re looking for the perfect match and starting the search online. 

Like dating, our first step has been to figure out what we’re looking for. What do you look for in a partner?

Jack and I have always been drawn to a similar type of person. Cute, smart and funny. Pluses include a love for music and adventure. Negatives include people who don’t appreciate good food, strong hugs, and a good lick once in a while AND liberal political beliefs (okay – that last one might just be me). When we sat down to think about what we’re looking for in a perfect adult program, I kept thinking about this list.

Cute translates to a clean and comfortable facility. Smart means that the program balances time in the facility with programs out in the community, Smart also includes incorporating creative activities with life skills and providing 1 to 1 support as needed. And, funny – the most important – is that the program has the energy that Jack has become accustomed to. We love Horizon High School so much, but it has set us up for a tough comparison.

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We really enjoyed the adult program we saw last week, but we didn’t have much in common and no sparks flew. So, we’re going to keep on looking for our next one and only. We’ve even been tossing out ideas for a new program to be established. It’s not going to be easy, but I keep reminding myself that, although we may need to kiss a lot of frogs along the way, we WILL fine our perfect match.

Love, Jess

the last FIRST day

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Not a traditional FIRST DAY photo, but it’s pure Jack

Today was Jack’s last FIRST DAY of school. In June he’ll be graduating CPNJ Horizon High School and starting life as an adult. An adult who is funny and sweet and handsome AND and adult with special needs. Twelve years in, and we’re finally comfortable with having a child with special needs, but still — we’re bracing ourselves as we approach this new chapter.

I know we will figure this out – that’s what we do – but as Jack got on the bus this morning, I couldn’t help but get struck with that feeling that we’re just ten months away from a new unknown. Trying to distract myself from the panic, I sat on the black iron bench that was once my grandmothers and looked at the last FIRST DAY photos of JackO. What a life this kid has led.

Not able to shake the feeling all day, I dug through our not-yet-unpacked boxes in the basement for hours until I found it. Jack’s first FIRST DAY picture — Morrow Memorial Preschool. Dan had arrived at the church’s Baker Street entrance at midnight on a cold, early spring night, wanting to be sure that Jack’s name would be at the top of the list (in fact, he was the 7th or 8th, but he made it in). It was the school that all our neighbors had promised was the best and we knew our boy deserved the best. When we walked Jack into the doors of the preschool the first day of class*, Jack was a little nervous, but he was so proud. 

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I know today as Jack walked through the doors of his beloved high school he wasn’t nervous one bit. Jack rules that school — his magical smile making up for his lack of words. I’m so proud of our boy, who’s life has changed in more ways that we could have ever imagined 18 years ago. I just want all of his first days to be wonderful.

We have ten months to figure out the best plan for our boy. We will make it happen — even if it means we need to camp out for a week to make sure his is top of the list.

Love, Jack’s mom

* Jack’s first day of school was September 11th and we will always be grateful that Dan took the later train into work that day. ALD aside, we are a very lucky family.