Writing has always helped me process difficult times. Finding words to describe what I’m feeling has allowed me to work through my emotions. Sometimes it’s like figuring out a complicated puzzle — when I realize I’ve broken the code, I’m often exhausted but relieved.
The last couple of weeks I’ve had trouble finding the right words.
I’ve shared our family’s journey for 14 years. I’ve shared our struggles and triumphs. I’ve shared so that people could understand what it’s like to live a complicated life. Now everyone’s life is complicated. We are all in the same boat, so I guess I don’t really need to find the right words.
It’s surreal to live in the most powerful country on the planet and within weeks, we’ve all been brought to our knees. We are all home, watching the news, worried about our health and our country and our 401Ks. Although some people are suggesting that we will reach the other side of this within a few weeks, I think most of us understand that this will not be over by Easter. This may not be over by Memorial Day or Thanksgiving or New Years. It may be years before we nonchalantly give a hug to an old friend or meet up with pals at a crowded bar or travel abroad (or locally for that matter).
It’s been two weeks since our family has left the house (except for a few errands run by Dan – clad in a mask and gloves). Day 14 makes me a little less worried about anything lurking here, but I am worried about plenty. I’m worried about our family and friends. I’m worried that if anyone I love does get sick, I can’t be there with them. I’m worried about all of the doctors and nurses we adore putting themselves in harms way daily — without the proper protective gear. I’m worried that we will run out of toilet paper.
But, life needs to march on.
Life at home has been strange, but we are finding our rhythm. We’re on our third puzzle and are all taking long walks every day. When I’m not cooking (LOTS of cooking and dishes) we’re ordering in from our favorite restaurants (trying do help them stay in business). Dan has his office set up and seems to be getting a ton done and Anna is up in her room attending college. Not sure how labs or Life Drawing is going to work, but so far it’s been okay. Jack and I are keeping busy with online yoga classes, bad TV, and (If Jack’s teachers ask) he and I are doing 7 hours of school work a day.
We’ve also been catching up with friends and family every day. It’s one nice benefit of this crazy time. Everyone’s eager to connect with each other. JackO really looks forward to these calls. He’s kinda sick of us at this point – thank goodness for FaceTime and Zoom.
We hope everyone is doing okay and heeding the recommendations to stay home. Sending a huge shout-out to all the doctors and nurses and grocery store workers and EMTs and postal workers and UPS drivers and everyone else who is out there so that we can stay home.