Rare Disease Day

HaPpY rArE dIsEaSe DaY!

Rare Disease Day is a day that reminds the world that rare doesn’t mean small. It doesn’t mean insignificant. It doesn’t mean invisible.

It means there are families like ours — loving fiercely, advocating loudly, and learning to build beautiful lives in the middle of something we never would have chosen.

Jack’s life is beautiful. It’s big and full of love and fun and smiles.

Not because ALD is easy.
Not because the road has been smooth.
But because he is surrounded by smiles and his duct tape.

If you’ve followed this blog for any amount of time, you know what that means. Smiles are the joy, the hockey nights, the ordinary Tuesdays that feel like victories. Duct tape is the holding-together — the people in Jack’s life that are always here to help, to laugh, to figure out how to have fun with JackO. Duct tape is also the logistics, the medical appointments, the day programs, the caregivers that have become Jack’s Other Mothers (they are huge part of the smiles too), the medications, the research, the hard conversations, the resilience that shows up when it has to.

Jack’s life is held together by all these things, but I want to give a special shout out to the medical professionals who dedicate their careers to rare diseases, researchers who refuse to stop until treatments become possible.

The treatments Jack has received did not appear out of thin air. They are the result of decades of science, advocacy, fundraising, and families who said, “Not good enough. Keep going.”

We are profoundly grateful.

To celebrate Rare Disease Day, our family created a fundraising page for ALD Connect.

Thank you to every friend and family member who has already donated to ALD Connect through our page. JackO sends each of you a warm smile, a killer hug and a lick if you’re really lucky. Thank you to members of the ALD community who understand this life from the inside out. And, a special thank you to the under 30 crowd who made donations. I know times are complicated and wallets may be thin. My niece, Sara, gets a shout out for being the youngest giver and I also want to recognize and thank several of Anna’s friends — some who have known and loved JackO for many years, and some who haven’t yet had the pleasure of meeting him.

Many of these kids (always kids to me) will soon begin their lives as physicians. The fact that they have ALD on their radar — that this rare disease is no longer invisible to them — matters more than they probably realize. One day, they will sit in exam rooms and carry that awareness forward. That’s how change happens.

That’s how rare becomes recognized.

If you feel moved, I invite you to make a donation to ALD Connect through our fundraising page. Your support funds research, education, and connection for families navigating this disease. It helps ensure that more children with ALD, more adults with ALD and more families dealing with ALD every single day (NOT just Rare Disease Day) have access to treatments, information, and community.

Rare Disease Day is not just about what we are fighting — It is about what we are building!

Love, Jess

Life Vest

Last month, I received a note from a dear friend (and a founding member of ALD Connect), that made me pause, breathe, and let out one of those slow, grateful exhales that seem to come from a place deeper than … Continue reading

Celebrating Jack and His Ripples

Years #18 — Day #6575

Eighteen years ago, we watched as stem cells went into Jack’s body. The room was full. Our Torrey 4, Mymom, Nonno, several doctors, countless nurses, and a huge amount of hope. Hope that the cells would take over and stop the disease that was destroying Jack’s brain. Hope that we would bring Jack home. Hope that our lives would return to normal.

Seventy-nine days later, two of those hopes had come true. The transplant had worked and Jack was home. But that last hope—the one where life would return to “normal”—never quite happened.

Eighteen years later, we’ve learned that “normal” wasn’t something to return to. Instead, we’ve built something new—something extraordinary. Our lives have shifted in ways we never imagined. Our perspectives, our dreams, even our careers—changed. And in those changes, something beautiful has grown.

This is the ripple effect: how one moment—one life—one experience—can reach far beyond what we can see.

If Jack’s journey has touched your life, we’d love for you to share your story. How has his story touched your life? How did these ripples go beyond you?

I’m starting to compile a list of stories of the ripples Jack created. I want to have them all in one place to treasure them, celebrate them—this is Jack’s legacy. Please share them here or send them to jctorrey@mac.com.

Happy Birthday JackO!!!! 

And thank you in advance or helping us put the ripples together.

Love, Jess

A special thank you to the parents of “The Little Lady from Detroit” who donated the cord blood that saved Jack’s life — THAT was the stone that started the ripples!!!!!!!

 

MAX 5/15/2021-2/6/2025

We adopted Max just three years ago. He had been fostered by a lovely Maplewood family. We went to their house to meet him and there was something about Max’s big ears and crooked smile that made us fall in … Continue reading

How many years?

This morning I sat down at the computer to write. Not a progress note or a treatment plan or a worksheet to help folks introduce mindfulness into their lives. I sat down to write a post on this blog to … Continue reading

The word AND and the word ONWARD

This week has been a good reminder that life is often full of the word AND. You can be struggling AND be successful. You can be proud of someone AND disappointment in them. You can be full AND eat the entire pint of Ben and Jerrys. You can have joy in your life AND sorrow. 

Our lives are always filled with ANDs, but this week joy AND sorrow have collided in a way that’s been unsettling.

We’ve been hit with the loss of a dear friend that has us all feeling shattered. A friend from my childhood – more of a sister really. Someone who knew me before I was me. We were part of each other’s families – our histories. She had a way of making the world seem brighter. Dan loved her too and of course so did Jack and Anna because this beautiful person was one of those people that everyone loved.

We’d been bracing for her loss, but you can never really be ready to hear the news that the world has lost a human that you treasure. 

We got the call that she was gone as I was setting up for Jack’s birthday party. Jack turned 25 last weekend. Seemed inappropriate to be celebrating but how could we not? Jack is 25 and doing great and beat so many odds. So, we plastered on some smiles, went through the motions, and got through the party. I felt a little guilty at one point when I found myself laughing with his other mothers. 

Am I allowed to be happy when part of my heart is missing?

Today we have another occasion to celebrate. Anna has started medical school and has her white coat ceremony. We’re returning to Washington Heights where we lived that summer of 2007, but this time we’re going to start a new chapter as Anna works towards being Dr. Banana. Again, I’m feeling strange — almost guilty — trying on dresses and making dinner reservations, but what choice do I have?

Life isn’t fair and I can’t really appreciate that it makes sense in any way. But, I will deal with all the ANDs and keep on moving forward. My friend used the word ONWARD a lot this last year.

Nothing I’ve done this week has been without my friend at the top my mind. She was a beautiful person, but she also had a way of calling me on my billshit. The last time we spoke, she held my hand and we reminisced about our long history. I was a mess and she told me I needed to be strong and to remember her with a smile, not tears. I promised her I would, but it might take a little time.

ONWARD!

For now, I will feel sorrow AND joy. As I get ready to watch my daughter receive her white coat, I have tears in my eyes AND a smile on my face. I will wear something fabulous – my friend had impeccable taste and told me that I needed to break up with StichFix or “at least up your budget and go do some real shopping”. Today I will wipe away my tears and cheer on Banana as I sit with family, including my 25 year old son.

ONWARD!

Love you Friend. You are so missed and always will be. I’m trying to be strong but can’t promise there will not be tears — they are sneaking out without much notice. But, behind the tears there are so many wonderful memories and there will always be a smile when I think of you.

ONWARD!

Love, Jess

Photos will follow at a later date. I have limited energy dealing with the ANDs.

Where was I?

Just coming down from a magical weekend full of time with Mymom and Anna, hanging with old friends, meeting superheroes, and listening to informative, brilliant, inspiring information. Where was I?

ALD Connect’s Annual Meeting and Patient Learning Academy!

When I was asked to speak at the conference, I was honored but intimidated. Being among so many people who are changing the direction of our disease, I wondered what I could contribute. “The Burdens of Caregiving” was the topic. After some discussion we added “and Joys”. THANK GOODNESS – I couldn’t imagine spending 30 minutes listing burdens!!

I included two other ALD stories – other phenotypes of our disease — so that I could share a broader picture of what caring for a loved one with ALD looks like. Thank you Miranda and Laurie for your honesty and perspective (two of my ALD superheroes). I ended the presentation with a little story that I thought I would share here.

Three weeks ago, I fell. Just out walking my dogs, enjoying the fall weather. I can’t tell you exactly what happened – or if my own ALD had something to do with it — but suddenly my feet got confused and I hit the ground, hard. I broke a rib and without any notice I wasn’t able to do any of the caregiving that has defined my life for the last 15 years.

Anna came up from Baltimore to help out. She had to get Jack up and ready foschool which can be a bit of challenge. One morning I heard her get Jack out of bed and then I heard a few comments about a mess. I watched from the couch as she walked to the laundry room with a big pile of laundry. A few minutes later, she walked through again holding a bag that I could only assume was a very soiled diaper.

I am so sorry you need to deal with that Bananz”

No worries mom – Sometimes you’ve just gotta wash your hands and move on”

And that is just what she did. A minute later I heard her singing along with 70s on 7 while dancing with her brother in the bathroom.

I think it’s important for us caregivers to remember that there will be a lot of messes to clean up – a whole lot of burdens – but if we can learn how to wash our hands and move on, we have a chance of appreciating some of the joys of caregiving.

Thank you, Anna, for your words AND your attitude!!!

Love, Jess

tHaNkS Team Torrey!!!

How many people does it take to care for our boy?

A lot.

Day 14 with a broken rib. Although I’m healing, I’m still not able to do much for Jack these days. Showering, changing, toileting, medicating, feeding – none of these things are particularly difficult, but there’s the Jack factor. Jack moves and grabs and hugs – it’s the hugs that scare me most – they’re magical, but I worry they could be dangerous!! 

So, I haven’t been doing much other than watching bad tv, studying for the National Counselors Exam, and counting my blessings that Jack has an amazing team of people who have stepped up to help out.

Dan has taken on the brunt of the responsibilities, but he has a job. Anna is home now for a few days – yahoo (she had offered to come home sooner, but she had a cold – if you’ve ever broken a rib, you will understand that a cold is terrifying). Luckily, Jack also has an arsenal of other mothers, and they’ve been amazing! Maria, Monica, and Lilly have all been keeping Jack entertained, fed and clean. And, we have a new addition – Natalie. We’ve known Nat since she was a tiny thing. She’s one of Anna’s best friends and she’s now a nurse. She offered to bring her skills and hang with our boy as needed. Lucky Jack – lucky us!

So, I continue to sit, watch bad tv, study for the National Counselors Exam, and count my blessings.

Thanks everyone for being me! I look forward to being able to care for our boy again (and enjoy one of Jack’s magical/dangerous hugs), but it sure is nice to know that Jack has a team who is ready, willing and able to help!!!

Love, Jess

look what we just got!!!

We’ve lived in SOMA (South Orange/Maplewood) for 25 years. We’ve owned three homes here, had two kids here, and raised 4 dogs here (some more successfully than others). We’ve celebrated many happy moments here and experienced our hardest days here. SOMA will always be our home.

There are many reasons to love our towns — the easy access to NYC, our charming villages filled with cute stores and excellent restaurants, schools that managed to educate our two very different children, South Mountain Reservation, and the people. The people of SOMA are what really make our community a treasure. 

We’re honored to be the cover family in this month’s SOMA Living Magazine. Thank you, Michael Goldberg, Karen Driggs, and Jamie Meier (www.livelovelens.shootproof.com), for putting this all together and sharing our family’s story. We wish Anna could have made it to the shoot, but we did FaceTime her. I wonder if this should be our holiday card this year🤪😂🥰

Love, Jess

If you live in SOMA, you should be receiving your copy of SOMA Living Magazine soon. If you live out of town, you can catch a glimpse here — http://somalivingmagazine.com/

two kids, incredible accomplishments and piles of pride

Last night our family sat around the kitchen table finishing up Anna’s medical school applications. Anna had already done all the hard work – the essay was written, the recommendations were in, the impressive MCAT scores included, and her transcript (flawless grades, completed in just six semesters from Johns Hopkins) was posted. The only thing missing was the list of schools where the application was headed – and the credit card payment. She will hit send on Tuesday and then the waiting begins. 

Today we will go through Anna’s other project – a six-week journey through Europe. Dan, Jack, and I have heard bits and pieces of the plan, but once again, Anna has taken an idea and run with it. She and her friend are winding their way through Europe wanting to take in as many sites and bites as they can. They want to explore museums and the countryside and the people of as many countries as they can. That’s the thing about Anna, she isn’t one sided. She is brilliant and determined and curious and adventurous and funny and kind. She truly is the most amazing person I know.

Except for MAYBE Jack.

Jack has been Anna’s greatest cheerleader her entire life. Whether it was cheering (silently, but with gusto) from the bleachers at lacrosse games to watching her proudly as she got her diploma last weekend – Jack is always there and always her biggest fan. And, Anna is always there to celebrate Jack’s accomplishments – his graduations, his activities, his strength through medical hell. He is also Anna’s inspiration for all she does. 

The pride I have for these two is profound and I can’t wait to see where life leads them both. BUT today, I just want to sit around the pool, hear about Anna’s trip and watch Jack swim.

Life is good.

Love, Jess

Tomorrow is not just Memorial Day – it is Jack’s 15th Transplant BiRtHdAy!!!! If you have time today – can you send a picture or a video so that I can make Jack a little birthday card/video thing? jctorrey@mac.com