the labyrinth

 

Just getting home from Block Island. It was a quiet stay this year and we loved having solo time with PopPop and Sue and getting to spend time just the four of us. Have I mentioned that Anna is leaving for college soon?

On our second day we went to Block Island’s Labyrinth. There was something about quietly walking a labyrinth that seemed like the perfect activity for our family as we prepare for a ton of change. Years ago I photographed a labyrinth for a local paper. I Googled the word before I left for the shoot, not really understanding the particulars of the definition. The three stages of the walk are releasing, receiving and returning. As you follow the path within, you are to shed your thoughts, quiet your mind and open your heart. While at the center, you meditate or pray, allowing yourself to receive guidance. Then you follow the same path out, thinking more clearly and feeling empowered. The whole thing sounded kinda cheesy, but after the shoot, I gave it a try and I found it more powerful than I’d expected. I felt calm and at peace. Last week I was looking for some calm and peace and wanted to share the experience with my family.

I encouraged them to take it seriously, “No talking. Just walk. Take it all in. Follow the path and let your thoughts wander.”

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Knowing I’m a little fragile these days, my family hid their rolling eyes and agreed. Anna led the way, trying to help her brother along. It was quiet and beautiful. There are no decisions to be made when walking a labyrinth. It winds around, but there is only one way in and you follow the same path out. A needed departure from the endless decisions we make every day. One step at a time we all moved forward. Within a minute, Jack got distracted, let go of his sister’s hand and started making his own path. I laughed at the image of Dan, Anna and I staying the course as our boy did his own thing. Very much our family, no matter the circumstances. We all stayed silent and I started to really get into it – I felt more relaxed than I had in a long time, enjoying the rhythm of my steps on the sandy path.

Half-way through, the spell was abruptly broken. Dan yelled, “Crap – Jack STOPPPPP!”

I looked up and saw Dad run after Jack as he bolted down the hill toward the street. Just a few moments of no one watching and he had managed to plan an escape. Block Island is not known for it’s traffic, but Jack heading to Corn Neck Road without assistance was enough to have us all in a panic. I imagined a pile of mopeds piled up on our boy.

Just when you think everything is perfect, Jack likes to shake things up for us.

Thank goodness for the stone wall at the end of the path. Jack reached the bottom of the path in record time, but took one look at the wall and the ladder to climb to the other side and gave up his plan. Too much work for our boy. He turned around to the arms of his dad. He and Dan walked back up the hill with his mischievous smile telling us all he knew exactly what he was doing. The boys watched from a stone bench as their girls finished up the Labyrinth. Jack had given us all a little detour from our relaxation, but our family is used to detours.

Love, Jess

We drop off Banana tomorrow. Just another detour;)

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Thrown Back into Reality

As if leaving Block Island isn’t hard enough, we had a doozy of a ferry ride home on Sunday. Within a few minutes of leaving the dock, the boat was pitching frantically over the angry ocean and water was pouring in the open windows. Then, the vomiting started. At one point Keegan’s leash slipped out of Anna’s hand and he slid across the width of the ferry. Fifteen minutes into the hell, a young man next to us took his head out of a garbage can to announced, “We have 45 more minutes of this.”

We had known that it was likely to be a rough ride. Our friends had left the island an hour earlier and reported back that their journey to the mainland had been a nightmare. Dan sat with Anna and the dogs and I chose a seat where I could brace myself while holding onto Jack and we could sit facing the horizon. I was worried about Jack getting sea sick, but once we started moving I worried less about a little vomit and more about a seizure. He was sitting between my legs and I could feel the sweat pouring down his neck and his body melting. Jack’s body isn’t built for stress. He has Addison’s Disease (another gift from ALD) and his body doesn’t produce cortisol to help deal with added stress to his system. A seizure can be a result of his body being overwhelmed, and a boat that’s slapping in the water at strange angles is not an ideal place to manage a seizure.

My mind was racing with planning how to get Jack to a safe spot to lay him down and how on earth one of us could manage to grab his emergency medication that was in the back of our over-packed car two floors down. I was in a panic, but as always, my family calmed me. Anna kept looking over and whispering “I love you.” and “Boogie’s going to be fine.” And, Dan knowing that I can get hysterical fairly easily, kept saying things like, “This isn’t so bad.” – he admitted later that the ride was the worst he’d ever experienced and that Jack’s face (that I couldn’t see) had been a bright color of green. Jack also managed to keep me calm. I spent the hour whispering into his ear that everything was going to be okay. His trust in me and little squeezes back let me know that it was going to be okay.

We were literally thrown back into reality. I haven’t been that scared in a long time, but we survived. No injuries. No seizures. No vomit.

It took a couple of hours before we could recover and returned to our usual chatty car-talks reliving our Block Island adventures, but we are determined not to let that last hour ruin an amazing two week vacation.

Two weeks on Block Island where life is slow, days are long and sunsets are pure magic. Beach time, kayaking, tennis, biking, hiking, puzzles, cards, weaving, paddle boarding, large meals, large cocktails, even a reading of Smiles and Duct Tape at Island Bound Bookstore (thanks to all who attended). We had time with family and friends and, besides the extra few pounds around my belly, we are bringing back a load of good memories. Thank you Block Island for recharging us. And, thank you PopPop and Sue for hosting.

Jack and Anna are back at school, Dan is in Chicago, and I am working on my list of fall “to dos” (lots going on with Smiles and Duct Tape and a new project underway – I will fill you in later).

Welcome back to reality folks.

Love, Jess

 

tired but smiling

 

Ever need a vacation after a vacation? As much as we love our time on Block Island, we do tend to come home a bit worn out – especially after the Fourth of July. Picture 19 people, four dogs, sand, Scrabble, fireworks, a parade, loads of food and a whole lot of wine.

Although we are all there for four or five days, we act like our hours are limited. It’s the only time each year that all of us Torrey/Perry/Pastores are together and we fill the time with memories – some a little blurry, but always wonderful.

Thank you PopPop and Nanna Sue (and Block Island) for a particularly lovely holiday. We came home tired but smiling. See you in August!!!

Love, Jess

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