Yesterday we just received Jack’s cap and gown with a note regarding his graduation celebration. Each graduating student will be scheduling a time when their teachers/therapists/principle will arrive at our homes and, from the safety of their cars, the staff will play Pomp and Circumstance. The students, dressed in their graduation finery, will pick up their diplomas from the lawn as the school films them. There will be a virtual graduation in June to watch Jack and all his classmates TOGETHER — ALONE.

I’m proud of his school for organizing such a thoughtful event, but unpacking the cap and gown brought me to tears. It’s so unfair that these kids, who have each suffered so much in their lives, are having yet another thing stolen from them.

I know we are supposed to focus on being ALONE — TOGETHER, but this virtual reality we are living sometimes feels more TOGETHER — ALONE.

Our family has done very well for the last 69 days. We’ve not complained (too much) about our current circumstances. Instead, we’ve focused on being grateful for our health and full fridge and paychecks and toilet paper. I think part of our positive attitude has been because our family has dealt with being quarantined before — first in a hospital and then at home for months and months following Jack’s stem cell transplant. This time, we haven’t been in charge of IV medications and taking turns sleeping in Jack’s room to make sure he was still breathing. AND, this time we haven’t been alone. All our friends and family have been doing the same thing. Most of the world has been at home.

So, instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, our family has taken the opportunity of this crazy time to slow down and do what we can. We’ve created a rather magical garden in our backyard. We’ve cleaned out closets and revisited hobbies like yoga and puzzles and painting.

Sure, we’ve all missed some things. Anna missed much of her second semester living at school. She missed parties and lacrosse games and The Preakness. Dan missed business travel and planned hikes and baseball. I missed teaching and spending time with my new nephews and trips and being in Listen to Your Mother. Jack’s missed school and friends and hugging (and licking) people other than his family.

Now he’s missing his graduation.

Like being quarantined, I’m trying to remember that he’s not alone in missing his graduation at school. Many of our friends have children celebrating their high school/college graduations virtually, and that does make it a little easier. There is power and strength in numbers, but it still stinks. I do hope that once this crazy time is over, Jack can return to his beloved high school and march in a ceremony with his classmates. They deserve it.

Until then, we will continue to settle down and continue to settle in, but we are starting to open our lives a little. Starting to plan some time with friends — is a SAFE way (or safeish). Dan met a friend to go fishing for an afternoon and, from a distance, got to catch up and share stories. Anna had a couple friends over the other night and they sat 6 feet apart around a fire pit. I sat out with them longer than I probably should of, craving in-person conversation (sorry girls). I can forgo haircuts and restaurants for a while longer, but I’ve missed my  friends terribly. I’ve started to make some safe (ish) plans with pals and I can’t wait for Jack to get to do the same with his friends. Not sure when, but we are going to get the graduating class of Pillar High School together again.

Until then — Congratulations Class of 2020!!!

Love, Jess