Tag Archives: CCI

saying goodbye is hard

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Our family has been showered with so much love following us saying goodbye to Keegan. Thank you. Many have asked how Jack is doing and my answer has been, “As well as anybody would be saying goodbye to a dear friend.”

Saying goodbye is hard.

The morning Dan and I agreed that it was time to call our veterinarian, we shared the decision with both of the kids. We explained that Keegan was in pain, he wasn’t eating and was having trouble walking. We needed to let him go. We talked about him always being in our hearts and that he was going to move on and get to be free of his body that was failing. Anna who had been visiting with my folks said she would come right home, and Jack didn’t react for a moment and then made a pained face and cried. Silent but very real heartbreaking tears.

We spent the day lingering in the living-room where Keegan rested on the floor. We gave him love and cried and laughed and watched bad tv. Jack got to spend a few hours with one of his other mothers, Monica, and got home just as the veterinarian arrived to peacefully send Keegan off to his next journey. It was horrible and beautiful.

We’ve spent the last week sharing a lot of stories about Keegan and picturing him up in heaven playing with many of his old friends. Through our tears we’ve laughed about him needing to be careful that Finn doesn’t stop him from having some fun – Finn never liked Keegan getting to play. Be strong Keegan – it’s your turn to be in charge!!

The house feels a little empty, but Tupelo is doing her best to give us the licks we all need right now. And Jack is doing as fine as any of us are right now. We are all going about our days and periodically getting a firm reminder of what is missing.

Saying goodbye is hard.

People often confuse silence and disability with ignorance, even stupidity – Jack is neither of those things. But, times like this, I wonder if a little ignorance (even stupidity) might not be such a bad thing.

Love, Jess

RIP Keegan

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Keegan on Block Island last weekend

We said goodbye to Keegan yesterday. I owe him some beautiful words, but I can’t find them and it’s hard to write through my tears. All I can say is that we will miss him with every inch of our hearts.

Rest In Peace beautiful soul. I know you are running around right now and enjoying endless bacon and belly rubs. Don’t let Finn steal your fun.

Love, Jess

a long goodbye

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I wake up in the middle of the night and listen. His labored breaths are troubling but it’s the silence that gets me out of bed. I go over to him, kneel down and put my hand on his belly. … Continue reading →

My other silent boy

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For those of you who have been worried that I may be sharing too much with Jack, I’m sorry. It is true that he has heard more than a teenage boy should about local gossip and various peri-manopausal symptoms. I am trying to be better at avoiding such topics when Jack’s in earshot. And, it’s not just because I’m worried that he is going to blackmail me – it’s just the right thing to do.

The truth is that he is not the only holder of my secrets. I have another silent boy in the house who’s also a really good listener. His ears are floppy and he lets me lie on the couch with him and rant about everything. He never gets bothered if my breath is bad or my feet are stinky. He just snuggles in and lets me vent about things and sort out my crap. He is the one that people should be worried about – Keegan knows EVERYTHING about EVERYONE.

Things I am too scared to even write in my private journal have been shared with my furry friend. There’s something about the way he looks at me, that I know he understands and cares. Keegan’s brother, Finn (AKA “Bad Dog”), walks away in the middle of a story if he hears a truck outside or the postman walking up the front steps. Keegan never leaves my side until he knows I’ve really let it all out.

Yes, I know that technically Keegan is Jack’s service dog, but the truth is that without him, I’m not sure that I could manage. There are just some days that I feel like I am going to explode (or implode). Stuff builds up and I need someone. I can’t always burden my friends and family – particularly when it’s my friends and family that I need to discuss. We all need a sounding board and Keegan is mine.

Yesterday was Keegan’s 7th birthday. I tend to forget birthdays of people/creatures I love (just ask my nieces and nephews). Ironic, because I expect everyone to remember mine — November 19 — 13 more shopping days left. Keegan’s puppy raisers reminded me today and I instantly stopped what I was doing to showered our boy with some love. Then, I gave him a nice long walk and two cups of kibble for dinner. Next year, I promise to throw in some balloons and streamers.

Thank you Keegan for being Jack’s best friend and my therapist.

Love, Jess

For more information about Canine Companions for Independence check out: http://www.CCI.org

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A great listener and so handsome.