Jack’s Graduation

First there was a pandemic that stole Jack’s last three months of high school. Then we were told that instead of a traditional graduation, there would be an “At Home” ceremony. Then it rained on the scheduled date. I was starting to think that nature was determined to completely ruin the end of senior year for our boy.

BUT the “At Home” graduation turned out to be an unbelievable day. 

Check out Jack getting his diploma!

Watching Jack as he excepted his diploma and Pillar High School’s Presidential Award was beautiful and then seeing his eyes widen every time he saw another friend arrived, warmed our hearts. After the ceremony, he wandered around the driveway reuniting with so many people he adores – IN PERSON. 

We did break some rules. 

Everyone wore masks and there was plenty of Purell, but there were more than 25 people on our driveway. And, there were hugs – LOTS of hugs. We couldn’t help it. It’s been three months since Jack has gotten to see these folks in the flesh and pulling him off of them seemed like torture, so we gave in (a little). 

After the celebration, we blew kisses to everyone as they drove away, and we put Jack directly into the pool — figuring the chlorine would kill off any germs. He sat on his favorite float as Anna swam him around. He had his hands claps behind his head and was all smiles, like he was reliving his fun day. Later in the afternoon we had another surprise when Peter arrived, bottle of champagne in hand, to toast to our boy’s latest accomplishment. What a perfect way to wrap up the day!

Jack’s life is complicated and there are many things he can’t do, but he has an exceptional ability to connect to people. Yesterday was proof that you don’t need to speak or write or be able to feed/bathe/toilet yourself to have a wonderful life full of people who smile every time you walk into a room (or onto the asphalt).

Thank you to everyone who made the day special and to Pillar High School for 7 unbelievable years of learning, growing and licking. I know that we are now not officially part of the Pillar Care Continuum, but I know in my heart, that our connection is not over just yet.

Love, Jess

Suspended Classes, Learning from Home and Sex in the 80s

Yesterday Johns Hopkins University announced that in-person classes were suspended through the end of the semester. No spring formals or sorority secret week or lacrosse games or baseball games or ordering Insomnia Cookies for late night study sessions. Anna will be completing her second semester sophomore year of college, in her bedroom at home. Alone (except for her wonderful, super fun family).

We sat around the kitchen island last night and I asked Anna how she was taking the news. She told me that she had been prepared. All the schools had been making the same decision, “It stinks for all of us, but I feel REALLY bad for the seniors. Their missing their last spring on campus and now a virtual commencement.”

I looked at Jack and my stomach fell. Jack’s a senior. His school has not yet made the announcement that in-person school is suspended through June, but I know it’s going to happen. How could it not? Jack and his classmates are the definition of “medically fragile”. Jack will likely not return to school this year – his senior year. No prom, no celebrations, no graduation. On top of that, he’s stuck at home with just the three of us for months. We’re fun company, but we’re not therapists or special needs educators. 

Jack’s school, Pillar High, has created an “academic binder” that’s being delivered today. At first, I laughed at the idea that we would be homeschooling our children with special needs. Jack and his classmates can’t log in and sit in front of a computer to do their work, and none of us are experts in special education. A binder’s advice couldn’t come close to recreating what they get at school — the education, the experiences, the therapy AND the connections.

But, last night when I was up at 2:32 am (the time my body decides it’s gotten just enough sleep to wake up and let my mind spin), I started imagining all the work that went into creating a binder for each individual student. I thought about all the love and devotion I know that the staff at Pillar has for the students. I realized I needed to take it seriously. We’re now in charge of Jack’s education for the next few weeks/months and Jack needs us to try to mimic at least some of what he gets in school. And, a schedule might not be such a bad thing right now.

I’m looking forward to see what the school is recommending. I’ll keep you all posted on how it goes with teaching JackO at home. I’m sure relieved that Anna isn’t counting on me for any help with Physics II.

ONE MORE THING —

I’m begging everyone to PLEASE listen to all the recommendations about social distancing. The more people comply, the quicker we can get to the other side of this. It’s going to be hard on all of us, but we NEED to be in this together!!!

My brother described the danger of people dismissing the importance of social distancing as “People don’t really know who they’re in contact with and who those people have been in contact with.  It’s like having sex in the 80s with someone you met at a nightclub. You weren’t just sleeping with one person, you were sleeping with everyone they’d slept with.”

Great point Brother, but weren’t you only 14 when the 80s ended . . . 

Love, Jess

If you haven’t seen it already – take a LOOK at Jack’s school, Pillar High, in action.

Rainbows and Unicorn(s)

Life isn’t always just rainbows and unicorns, but it is today. Happy Halloween everybody!

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CPNJ (now Pillar Care Continuum – new name, same great organization) does it again! Their annual Trunk or Treats got rained out, but that didn’t stop the treats or the fun.

 

I was feeling pretty proud about creating a great costume for our boy until Jack’s buddy rolled into the room. The award for GREATEST COSTUME EVER goes to Ben! Sorry JackO – you get second place;)

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Love, Jess